"My contention is that we went to war to keep Nigeria one and to us there was no Biafra and therefore we cannot talk of the leader of the rebellion as the Head of State of Biafra (1967-1970)."~ Gen. Yakubu Gowon, rtd: African Concord, 1992

"I do not deny the fact of secession in 1967...that is a historical fact.What I deny is that the Igbo community to which I belong has been planning for secession. Secession is not like Cocaine... it is not addictive. Today other people are feeling the pangs of what I felt twenty-five years ago. These people have my sympathies. These people not having the guts to say so have continued to murmur in the hope that I will take up the refrain. I will not. Today I have more reasons to seek a better Nigeria than I did. ...I have invested so heavily in Nigeria."~Chukwuemeka Odumegwu-Ojukwu, former head of state of the Republic of Biafra: TSM, 1994

Biafra was my rite of passage. One day, I will tell the full story. But I'll begin here. The horror. The senselessness. The sacrifices. I missed growing up in my family, the parental love kids my age were getting, but I grew up faster and painfully too. Killing another human can be terribly traumatic. I found solace in the infinite wisdom of Igbo idioms. "Let it be said that my dog devoured the neighbor's dog, instead of: "his dog savaged mine'." grandpa Chima's words taken out of context, but it helped me come to terms with wasting of human lives like unwholesome Christmas chickens.

I saw a Commonwealth Games silver medalist wasted. A fine officer.I was in trenches with wasted people; I saw "enemies" wasted with hot leads. I still believe the particular bullets didn't come from my gun;good Catholic boys don't kill! I saw my platoon commander shoot himself in the hand to keep a date. Yes. Bloody coward. I once raced to our company rendezvous to request for supplies in the heat of a nasty battle and saw a highly regarded officer doing to a dusky damsel what I thought only babies did with their mummies' mammary. I waited. Many fine boys wasted in the battlefield across the River Nmam in Awlaw before he struck milk! Enough milk for his coffee. Yuk.

It was sheer madness. It took three years for the top dogs to agree that it was an expensive mistake, a callous calculation made to look good.Game over. No ceremonies, not even a discharge paper. No thank you, no handshakes. No passing out parades, no nothing. I hitched a ride, ran and walked home a hero.

They called me names: "The dry meat that fills the mouth." "The game that chews its cud while the hunter aims...." "The fire that rages and consumes the desert!" "The boy who washed his hands and dinned with elders!" I felt wanted; I felt important.

It was not all war in Biafra. many had their share of the fun,drinks and Sex, even with the risk of contacting "Bonny Special," a dangerous strain of aggressive gonorrhea. 'Wee-wee' (Indian hemp or ganja).Cheap Mars cigarette. I drove cars, fast and furious (most of the time on locally refined palm oil). I commandeered cars from bloody civilians to win the war, a fight to finish for the defense and continuation of Umunna (the agnates) and for the pride of our womenfolk. I beat up people for fun. I got the feel for raw power in Biafra.

Gowon, we once sang, had gone to beg Ojukwu :

"Ojukwu, you have won."

Gowon has gone to Ojukwu to beg:

"Ojukwu, you have won.

"I shall go to Ojukwu to ask for his pardon,

"My army and I are tired; you have won.

"My bullets are spent

"My funds are spent "The devil pushed me into fighting you.

"My bullets are spent "My funds are spent

"The devil pushed me into fighting you."

"Ojukwu soldiers: Major, Major, Major, Major.

Odumegwu-Ojukwu: Another savior."

The next day, we were lined up and taught to sing a different tune.One tedious teacher came up with the worst psycho-denial, boot licking verse anyone could dream up in the immediate postwar Enugu:

"Ojukwu wanted to separate Nigeria, But Gowon said Nigeria must be one. We are fighting together with Gowon. To keeping Nigeria one."

We felt insulted. It sounded daft too. We tied the old man up and nearly choked him to death. I was singled out and expelled. I was mad. If we had won the war, the principal would not dare.

I cried for Biafra. I was mad. I was suspended from school. Biafra was history. In all wars. children suffer and are the true victims of the madness of war. I wonder how many twelve-year-old boys in Angola, Bosnia, Ethiopia, Eritrea, Iraq, Israel,Liberia, Somalia, Sudan, Saharawi, Sri Lanka and others share the experiences of the children of Biafra, 1966-1970.

*Dr. Ene contributes editorial viewpoints to USAfrica on social and public policy issues. This article appeared exclusively, first, in USAfrica The Newspaper, Vol 3#7, June 1996.

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