"Africans in U.S. are losing our kids
to American culture" &endash;Mrs. D.C Ejindu

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On marriage and divorce among Africans/Nigerians, she told USAfrica The Newspaper "what Africans need to know is that during my time (in the 1950s and 1960s) marriage was planned between parents and families. This time, our problem is that our sons and daughters meet someone in the U.S or elsewhere, we don't know their background. The courtship may just take one week or 2 months or 6 months and boom.. it's wedding day. We need to know how their family behaves. During our time we knew who's who and this eliminated some of the problems of clashing values." She notes "Don't get me wrong; I do believe that love matters. In fact, some say that "I'm madly in love'; sometimes it's just infatuation. In our time, the marriage and the love grow together...."

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Mrs. Dorothy Chukwunedum Ejindu is an embodiment of the traditional values and conservative lifestyles of the quintessential African woman, particularly, those of the Igbos of South Eastern Nigeria. At community events, she is ushered in by group of women as befitting for a princess. Born on April, 1930 to a Christian family (Godson Obidinnu and Margaret Ucheime Nwokoye) in Obosi in Anambra State of Nigeria told USAfrica The Newspaper and USAfricaonline.com during an exclusive interview that "our own culture is very, very good. We've good family values. We value our families and we should appreciate that fact."

She notes also that there are lessons "Africans can take from our American hosts." Yet, she's quick to underline her belief that "our brothers and sisters of the African American community will benefit more from us because somehow they lost the trend of their roots from such historical situations as the slave trade." Mrs. Ejindu, founder of the Star Lady/Star Mother Organization of Nigeria, says the reality of such events and deprivations compels the need for more interaction. She says "that's part of why I like USAfrica The Newspaper so much for creating the forum for such interaction and sharing of views."

She argues that most of things African-Americans need to know can be achieved through more interaction. Her first daughter, Mrs. Ifeoma Nwankwo (married to author Prof. Nkem Nwankwo) trained at San Diego State University, and at Ohio State for a masters degree in public administration and community development was present during my interview with Mrs. Ejindu. Mrs. Nwankwo notes that "she's a great mother; she enlightened and inspired me that I can be a good house-wife, a professional woman and have the fear of God. She's my mentor."

Mrs. Ejindu, a widow with seven children (six of whom are in the U.S.), is former national president of the Obosi Development Union (Women wing) and Life Matron of the Boys and Girls' Brigade (26th company.

Ejindu, an admirer and supporter of U.S. President Bill Clinton expresses displeasure at what she calls "a largely American and apparent attitude of each to oneself, and God for us all. I'll like them to emulate the way we treat our elders, especially the senior citizens. No matter what, we cannot send our parents to a nursing home. No matter what our schedule, instead of sending them to such homes, we'll make major sacrifices. For instance, I stay with my children here in the U.S."

On the capacity of African/Nigerian children born here in the U.S. to speak their parents' language, Ejindu is frank, as usual: "Our children are illiterate in their parents languages. There's a big danger in that. When you've a group of people, you don't have any private way to confide in your kids because you have just that common language (English). If we do not watch it, in the next 30 years, our children born here in the U.S will be lost to the American culture. Most of the children that I've seen when you take them back home, they don't fit in at all. We need to change that." Madam Ejindu has visited Britain, Canada, Cote d'Ivoire, Israel, Ghana and the U.S.

Mrs. Bettye Woods, her instructor at the college described her as "a student (who has) "been a fresh breadth of air and a beacon of light. Her deep wisdom, charitable spirit, inspirational thoughts, and diligence in her studies have enhanced the lives of her classmates and mine." Mrs. Ejindu describes herself as "a symbol of justice which is the supreme guarantee of good government."

On marriage and divorce among Africans/Nigerians, she told USAfrica The Newspaper "what Africans need to know is that during my time (in the 1950s and 1960s) marriage was planned between parents and families. This time, our problem is that our sons and daughters meet someone in the U.S or elsewhere, we don't know their background. The courtship may just take one week or 2 months or 6 months and boom.. it's wedding day. We need to know how their family behaves. During our time we knew who's who and this eliminated some of the problems of clashing values." She notes "Don't get me wrong; I do believe that love matters. In fact, some say that "I'm madly in love'; sometimes it's just infatuation. In our time, the marriage and the love grow together...."

Madam Ejindu's hobbies include photography, drama, opera and music. Education is important but sometimes it breeds intolerance and everyone fights for their so-called "rights.' In my own area, Obosi, the first daughter is usually not married outside the town of her parents. She said same in her rich Igbo language "Ada adi eje mba."

She recalls that "I married very early, and I was only able ( she smiles and says) many won't believe this... I passed only my elementary school education, at the time." You could not tell when she speaks or champions any community goals. She is a recipient of the USAfrica Community Leadership award, in 1999.

"I decided to go back to school at North Carolina Gillford Technical community college to study English. I'm doing alright with it. I am doing the studies for knowledge, pleasure and to increase my vocabulary." she adds laughing. "What motivated me was the fact that I became a successful businesswoman, in my time and place, and I related with a lot people. Hence, I needed to improve my social and speaking skills."

Such associations, she remembers, opened many doors where she's also served as patron and matron and as "the first woman lay reader in my church in Obosi, on July 1, 1973." Her additional message for youths and adults is that "you should note that whatever one learns no one can take away from you."

Without a doubt, Mrs. Ejindu, fondly known as "Anu Eyi Agu" is a unique woman among many; an inspirer of thousands of African women and indeed men, a political activist, businesswoman, relentless community builder and mother to many.

Interview and reporting by Chido Nwangwu © USAfrica Digital Media Networks, Houston